Reality.

The past couple weeks have been a complete whirlwind. I just realized it's June 3rd and I have 16 days to get my life in order before it's turned upside down again. It's a little stressful.

We had our recital at my studio over the weekend. It was such a strange day for me. I have always loved watching those girls perform, they are all so good and so much fun to watch. But I was so irrationally emotional that day. I didn't cry, even though I wanted to, honestly. It's been a long time since I've been home, been somewhere where I know people, know where I am and have felt completely stable. So the fact that I did get comfortable here, that I like it here and feel like I have a nice support system was really hard to handle. I mean it still is.

So today begins the transfer. After cleaning my poor apartment and doing the ginormous pile of laundry that's gathered at the foot of our bed, I'll be sorting our belongings into piles to be packed up into boxes by a moving company and shipped exactly 1,799 km. Luckily, 90% of what I own has been in storage since July 10, 2012 so it'll be like Christmas, getting all my things back. I'm looking forward to our couch and knowing what was in the box I randomly had to pick and throw into storage because we went over our shipping weight last summer. That and my standing KitchenAid mixer.

Driving back from the movies last night, I had some ridiculous flash backs to when we first arrived in Toronto. I think for as long as I live, there will be no experience more bizarre then the day you leave one home and arrive in another. It's the weirdest feeling. While liberating on one hand, it's really disorientating on the other. I think I'm having a hard time processing all of this. I think if I just focus on packing and organizing and cleaning, I'll be okay, those things usually distract me...

There are some things that I'm excited for int he next 16 days, however. This weekend, Jake's flying to Arkansas to get us a place to live, June 11th we're going to see the Postal Service, or the band that got me through high school, I get a last bash with my friends AND we have EDC to look forward to!

I think I need to remember that I'm lucky to get to see all the places that I do. That I'm lucky that I get to travel and meet all these amazing people. While I'm not around for a long period of time, I do hope the people that I will always remember and the people that make a difference in my life will remember me too.