Can I Help You??

Something I would like to know is who invented customer service.

I'm sitting here at my desk, minding my own business and doing my work. I talk politely to people, not because I have to but because it's in my nature. I smile and make jokes because I'm nice. But then in flies Hurricane Bitch over here who decides it's okay to be rude and raise her voice and look down at me (well, she looks down at me because she's standing and I'm sitting but it really adds to the effect of anger!).

I guess there was something wrong with her account that she was pissed off about and decided to some take it out on me. Now this would be all fine and legit if I was the one who caused the problem but I'm not. And let's face it, everyone knows I don't actually make any of the rules or regulations, I just get the wonderful job of enforcing them.

My Life.

After she left, the heat started to leave my cheeks and my heart stopped racing. And as I sat here, letting the waves calm if you will, I started thinking about customer service. Who in the hell invented that position? In many cases, people who work customers service are normal, nice people who face the same trials and tribulations as everyone else but because they answer phones, greet you at a table, answer your questions and are generally the face of many businesses and corporations, they get treated like shit. But why is that?

Let's be real: I'm a nice person. I like making people smile. I like helping people out. Generally, I get off on making someone else happy (sorry for being vulgar, it just fit). So why should I sit here, when I do my job and I do my job well, just to be yelled at by someone who isn't happy about something that has nothing to do with me? Because somehow, customer service has developed to be this way over time.

When I started waitressing, I started thinking more and more about how I treat customer service type people. When I have to call about a bill or am taking an item back to the store or have to talk to people in general really, I think about how I would feel to be yelled at. It's not very fun, actually. I understand that sometimes you do get a bitch for a server or that the person at T Mobile really is an idiot but do your karma a favor, go into the situation thinking about someone else's feelings for a change, it may help you out in the future.

That or try being a waitress for a while. Either you'll start seeing the other side of it or your heart will freeze over and you'll join the ranks of the rude, inconsiderate bitch army that populate most of the world.

If you couldn't tell, I feel strongly about this issue. But I'm being serious. Just be nice to people, it makes you smile more, it makes other people smile more, it makes the world a better place, people.

The Dirty Life.

Currently, I'm reading The Dirty Life. It's a story about a woman who suddenly finds herself uprooting everything she has been her whole life, falling in love with a rustic farmer and starting a farm from scratch with him.

Now, I've found myself, more often then not, totally relating to her, the situations she finds herself in and the path she chooses to take. I'm not exactly on a path like hers, I'm actually following that path in an arcing fashion.

Source.

I was raised more on a farm then not (meaning I did farm-esque chores and had more of a farm life then any other kid I was friends with. I know how to clean out animal pens, identify types of chickens by their egg color and clip wings while I don't know how to play Super Mario, I couldn't name more then two cartoon shows and I wouldn't be able to name all the charms in Lucky Charms). Some of the stories the author tells remind me of times on my parents land, the ridiculous things I've done in the name of 'farming' and what I plan to do with my life.

As much as I've tried to fight the farmers life, it's buried deep inside my soul. I have come to terms with the fact that I will spend the rest of my life somewhere within the vicinity of farming. Lucky girl I am, in my attempts to push myself further into urban life, I've found myself smack dab in the middle of a (really good) relationship with a guy who, at some point, wants to join the over-all wearing, straw hat totin', hoin' kind.

Fresh from my parents garden.

But I must say, reading this book has made me miss Oregon. I was walking to work this morning and I had some crazy deja vu about walking down the garden at my parents house, the familiar crunchy-squelch of the wet, muddy grass covered in half frozen leaves. The dogs running on ahead, occasionally barking at a squirrel who thought it was safe to exit the apple tree. I thought about opening the chicken coop, shooing squawking hens off the nests and carefully putting warm eggs in a tub. 

As I sit here, remembering the feel of the air, the smell of the grass and the sounds surrounding me, I can also imagine the scoffing my parents just be doing right now. It's hard growing up doing different things then all your friends. Of course, when I was 12 the last thing I wanted to do on a Saturday morning was clean out the rabbit run, shovel chicken crap or help stack wood, but as I'm getting older and moving to all these different, mostly more urban places, I miss those days.

The garden after my sister's wedding.

Maybe it's the time of year, with winter coming and the holidays close behind. I think I miss the warmth of the wood stove in my parents' kitchen, the smell of baking bread, the familiar puddles of warmth in bed as the hot water bottle heats the covers. I miss the tinkling of the front gate bell and the twinkle of the lights from the house shining through the holly tree out front. I miss my dog, Chasey, sleeping on her strangely over-stuffed yet too small for her dog bed and the silky soft cat who I swear will probably never die sneaking into the kitchen unnoticed by the dog to curl up on the chair by the wood stove.

It's so weird the things you miss as you get older.

Good News!

It's Friday! It's the end of the work week and for me the internship work week. I'm excited to share this morning that yesterday, I got a job!! 

Source.

If you are unfamiliar with moving to Canada, but you need a job to stay in the country. When I crossed the boarder back in July, they gave me till December in the country. If I didn't find a job before then, I would have to leave. So talk about pressure. I was also putting personal pressure on myself because I wanted to be able to contribute to my relationship and take some stress away from Jacob, who's been supporting me for a few months.

You can imagine my excitement when I got the e-mail yesterday that I start on Tuesday! I am the new receptionist at the Annex Dance Studio in Toronto. I have a background in dance and love everything that comes with it. I mostly excited because it'll be good hours for me and it'll help me break from the endless waitressing cycle. 

But there is one potential problem. My internship is potentially in danger. Potentially. 

As of right now, I work Monday through Friday 9-5 at my internship. With this new job, I'll need to leave my internship at 2:30 in order to arrive on time for my 3:30 start time. I talked with my assistant editor yesterday about it, mostly because I wasn't too sure how to approach the subject being still really new at the office. 

Of course, I'm really nervous going to work this morning because we're suppose to all talk about what's going to happen. So I'm in this weird mood this morning; excited because I finally have a job and worried because something that I really love is about to be in jeopardy. 

I just hope I can work something out with them. Maybe extending my internship past three months to make up the time, working on side projects, staying late on the days I don't work or coming in early. 

So keep me in your thoughts this morning as I head into work. Ah! I'm so nervous!

::THIS JUST IN: I talked with my editors and they are totally okay with the job. I just have to take a shorter lunch. WEE!:: 

Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater.

While doing my usual and daily internet scouring (literally 8 hours of reading, hunting, searching, reading, repeat) I came across a slew of articles about cheating. A local Toronto paper posted an article on it's blog about cheating: how to stop your husband from cheating, if you should tell your best friend that their boyfriend/husband is cheating and now the third instalment, the anti-cheating ring. 

Hot Button Issue.

Just by reading this article I can see that this little series has been a big hit. People are very sensitive when dealing with the topics of marriage, cheating and monogamy. This article suggests the use of a ring with the engraving "I'm Married" on it. The idea is that when the man takes his ring off, as I guess it's popular for them to do, the fact that he's married will still be visible. 

The question is: Would "I'm Married" really stop a man (or woman) from cheating on their spouse?

Survey says? Probs not, guys...probs not. 

As for my opinion, I believe that if you cheat on your spouse (or boyfriend or girlfriend) you obviously don't want to be in that relationship. Cut and dry. There are many arguments out there that people get bored or need something to spice up their love life and I think the solution isn't in the bed of someone else. I think if you are having a problem you should talk to your hubby about it. Damaging the relationship and shattering trust isn't the way. 

After getting my fill on crappy marriage-saving tips, another title caught my eye: Is cheating the answer to making a marriage last?  Of course I had to read it!

Hot Button Issue.

The general idea is that in some cases, having other partners can keep a marriage alive. There are some things mentioned in the article that I get too hot and bothered over to talk about without sounding preachy so you may just have to read it yourself. But I think that if you need a little love life revival, play at it. Secret, cheating and hurting isn't the answer.

What do you think about this issue? What is your view on cheating or an open relationship? 

Funny Thing About Life...

While this week I've been on a posting schedule to get my life in order, I thought of something that needed to be shared. 

Finding a good mirror is hard to do.

Source.

I've never been a worshiper of mirrors but I have noticed something lately. The mirror in my apartment is horrible! And I can't avoid it, ever! It's right in the middle of the apartment!

I walk by it a million times a day and it takes everything not to look in it. I am a 5'10" curvy woman and I have a hard time feeling short. But I feel short in this mirror! Short and chubby! 

I felt the need to share because I was overly appalled. On the other hand, the mirror at work makes me feel great! And the mirror at Jake's work...strangely...

Have you experienced mirror woe? 

Women's Rights.

There's been something on my mind for the past few months. Not at the forefront of my mind but still there, lurking in the dark. It's the topic of women's rights . 

In wake of Todd Akin's comments on Sunday, the War on Women has been all over the Internet. And as it should be. Why aren't women everywhere upset by this? Why isn't there a national outcry? I don't care if your Democrat, Republican, Independent, alien, young, old, gay or straight. Why aren't we outraged that men are trying to make these decisions for us?

I know I'm ridiculously upset about it. This year, politically, is a really big year. It seems that the big issue is health care, especially abortion and contraception. In wake of Todd Akin's remarks this weekend about rape, abortion and the female body's ability to end pregnancy (what are we in a science fiction movie?!), I'm asking my female readers to educate themselves because this is our year, ladies. Don't let a man make these decisions for you. 

My Least Favorite Place.

Alright, ladies (And and occasional gentleman who stumbles across this) lets talk about employment. Or in my case, the lack there of. 

Source.

My employment started back when I was 16. I had just got a car and was feeling very happy and full of myself. I got my first job at Coldstone, the ice cream place where you have to sing if you get tipped. I loved it. Ice cream AND singing? I couldn't be happier.

Long story short, it didn't work out in the end and I found myself back on the job market. I was feeling better because I had actually had a job before and felt like I had the upper leg on a lot of other people. Little did I know that from that moment, it would only get harder to get a job.

Now I sit here, 8 friggin years later (friggin years because I just realized how long ago that was and am suddenly feeling quite old) I'm facing unemployment again. I think it's my least favorite place to be. And I have been in some very unfavorable places before.

Throughout my history in the work force, I have held some jobs that I didn't particularly like, but I kept them because I was lucky to have a job and should be thankful (this in actually not what I was thinking at the time but...well...trying to stay positive today).

 I think I've hit my wall. I've been unemployed for about six weeks and it has been the longest six weeks of my life. I've had a few bites at my fishing line but nothing has stuck. I've trekked over an hour on the subway for an interview and haven't received anything in return. I had an interview for an unpaid internship that would have been so good for me but, 3 weeks later, I haven't heard anything. Sigh.

So, as I stare at the now-purple links to help wanted ads on Craigslist, I wonder: Am I reaching the point where I will cross my line? Now my line is the line I've drawn between the jobs I think I'm either too old or over qualified for and the jobs that I normally apply for. I have applied, talked to and reached out to everything I know here in Toronto and I'm reaching the end of my rope.

I've literally been pacing my apartment, getting angry at the TV, straightening up things that aren't messy. I go to the gym because I get bored. Just waiting for someone to take interest in me. But am I reaching the place where I'll start applying for busser positions or counter service positions? I'm not afraid to say I am usually better then that but now that I have less then half as much money in my bank account as I need to pay my bills due in 6 days, I'm losing it. 

Guys, I think I'm desperate. I've done pretty good this week staying positive. But as the weekend approaches, I'm running out of positivity. I think this is the point in my life where I have to stop and ask for help.

Have any advise on either job hunting or how to stay positive?

If You Knew Me...

I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes me...well...ME! Like what kind of person I am, what traits do I have that make me more like myself then anyone else? Then I started thinking about all the "If You Knew Me" posts I read a few weeks back from other bloggers and I've decided to use it as a way to find who I really am. So here goes!

Freshman year of college 2006.

IF YOU REALLY KNEW ME...

*you would know that I can almost never watch a movie in bed without falling asleep. Whether it's a really great movie or not, if I am horizontal, I will fall asleep. Whether it's morning, noon or night. I can't help it! I just love to sleep!

*you would know that I am morbidly obsessed with violence. Not in the participating aspects but if there's a murder in the news or a tale of a missing girl or (like recently) the James Holmes fiasco, I will research it. I will read everything there is to read about that event and I will be obsessed with it until a new one comes along. I have no idea why.

*you would know that I am so, so very against cheating, in every aspect. I just hate cheaters. I hate people who think they're allowed to cheat at anything really! Whether it on their girlfriend/boyfriend or on a test, it's just no good. I can't get over it.

*you would know I am really horrible at good byes. Which really just sucks for me because there are a lot of good byes in my life. Since I move every year, almost any time I see family or true friends, I have to say good bye again and I am so crappy at it. I'd rather like high five you and say "see ya later!" then cry all the way back to where ever I'm living then give you big hugs. I didn't cry when I moved away from all my family until three days later. I know, it's a problem.

*you would know that I have a tendency to not...call people...back...I have this weird phone phobia. I don't like talking on the phone! E-mails and texts are no probs but once I have to actually talk to you...I'd rather it be in person.

Dear Me.

A good friend once told me, 

I can't let anyone love me until I love myself.

I'm pretty sure my whole world shattered in that moment, ya'll. And it was from that moment that I struggled with loving myself. To this day, at age 24, I still struggle to love myself. So how do I start?

Thank GOODNESS that Wikihow has all the answers! Lets look at their suggestions and see how well I do.

I Love You, Me.

1. Treat other's with love and respect: I think I'm doing a good job at that! I give everyone the same respect that I think I deserve.

2. Create goodwill and thankfulness by practicing random acts of kindness and sharing your being to many: Okay, I don't think I do this...yet. I have a project in the works right now where I would be sharing my positivity and (at least trying) to spread random acts of kindness...More on this later!

3. Express yourself, perhaps in letters or articles when you have a topic: Oh my garsh, blog much?! I do that! Actually, I think I've really starting doing that. I tried so hard to be every other cute blog out there but it's just not me. So I'm sticking to my guns :)

5. Forgive yourself: *Note: I will be skipping some numbers because there are 24 of these so...* This is something that I think I need to work on. I put myself down way too often. I mean Jacob and I used to fight about it bc he hates that I do it. So I'm working on that. 

6. Post positive statements everywhere so you can smile: Two post it's that are a must on my mirror, "You are beautiful," and "I have courage."

10. Be persistent: I should keep at loving myself. I def go through phases where I'm super positive and upbeat and love myself then literally 12 minutes later I'm down in the dumps. I just need to believe in myself!

13. Hug yourself: Okay :)

20. Do what you love: I spend at least an hour each day blogging, which is something I love. I also have been exploring dance classes for when I have a job. Doing something you love lifts your spirits and reminds you what real joy feels like.

23. Don't compare yourself to others: Oh, I do this a lot. I think I majored in it in college. I have to stop doing this. Anyone got pointers??

24. Stop trying to be perfect: I think I have that one in the bag. I am so okay with not being perfect. I'm probably the weirdest person I know and I am darn proud of that!

Sorry for all the mushy self-love but I'm feeling like I'm in the need right now. I've been job hunting for what seems like YEARS now and, with no end in near sight, I just need a little affirmation that I can do this. And who better to be my pick-me-up then, well me!

Do you have any tips on reaching self love??

Check out the full article here.

The Evolution of a Women

Yesterday our boxes arrive from the States. I spent the evening unpacking and getting things in order. Then I realized something...my bathroom boxes were here! 


Have you ever experienced that? Realizing how much I missed having my products; my gels, my lotions, my cotton balls, my sprays, my toners. As I took my time getting ready for bed, taking off my make up, washing my face, lotioning, flossing, we're gonna get real personal here, ya'll. I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror and came to an abrupt stop. All I could see was the adult version on me. I am no longer a teenager.


I think we can measure the growth of a young lady by her bedtime rituals. I know we all have them, you do too. Do you brush your teeth first? Or wash your face? Do you use mouth wash or floss? Both? If you think about it, most women develop these practices over time.

I never look this good....

When I think back to when I was a new teen, I never had these rituals. In high school, I used these eye make up remover pads that my mom gave me. I hated them, they always left my eyes oily and gross. 


"Just wash your face," she'd tell me. But what she didn't understand was how badly I hated washing my face. It was a waste of time! 


I usually went to sleep leaving on my cheap mascara and green eye shadow, scrubbing off my raccoon eyes in the shower the next morning. But then I grew up and went to college.


In college, I was wiser. I skillfully kept a package of wipes by my bed so I would easily swipe off make up before turning the light off. Or to get the make up off in the morning...either way, the effort was there, right?! Or there was the alternative...which was drinking too much and crying with your girlfriends about how much you loved them...that happened a few times...but it's a really effective way of getting ridding your face of black smudges! It's just more watery then usual.


But now, as of 24 (eek! tomorrow!), I have a whole regime. First, I use coconut oil to make off my make up. My mom suggested it and it's genius! Then I wash my face, use some toner, lotion, brush, floss and swish some mouth wash around...boy I love that burn!

Best idea ever!

It was mid swish last night that I realized I have grown up. Gone are my raccoon eyed mornings, my runny mascara nights, my black stained pillow cases. I am full grown!


Think back, has your nightly regime changed over the years??

Looking In.

Sometimes I feel like God. No, seriously I do! Don't laugh. I feel like God...just without the life-altering powers, all seeing-ness and, well, the old age. 

I spend half my morning observing those in another world. I look into their lives, see what they're up to, what they did yesterday, what they're having for breakfast, what they're doing this weekend. I am able to look into lives that I do not influence on the daily but are connected to in ways. I am God, you see, I am able to be with these people, to touch their lives so subtly that they don't realize I'm here. I am looking in.

Looking In

By being God, of course, I mean that I spend 2 hours in Facebook stalking my friends who live back in the United States. I am physically nothing like God. Way hotter. But it's because of Facebook that I can be so far away and still feel like I'm 2 blocks away from my familiar. I'm constantly looking in. It's like I'm outside and peeking in. It's weird.

I talked with my mom last night about how I feel like I've been forgotten. Now, I'm not looking for pity or anything, it's not like that. I feel like I've been forgotten in the way that nobody contacts me, not really. Again, not pitying myself, it's just an observation from the other side.

Yes, I moved out of the country but that doesn't mean I'm in some twilight zone and I don't have internet or e-mail. [To quote my mother last night: "Do they have Craigslist there?" "Mom, it's not Neptune of course they have Craigslist."] It's just so interesting to observe these lives that I used to be a part of, to look into their day to day and it just seems like it was a dream, ya know?

Honestly, this just motivates me to create a world here of my own. It certainly doesn't feel like a vacation anymore. I'm working on making friends and getting a big girl job. I'm growing to like this invisible wall surrounding me. I feel like I'm in another world and it's all mine. I feel like an exotic explorer that can only be contacted my letter. I need to return home with stories of lands conquered, languages mastered and spirits freed. 

Look out, USA, soon they'll make a move about me! 

Thanks, Toronto.

Since I've moved to Toronto, I feel a subtle change within me. I've been feeling the need to be me again. To do what I'm interested in. To meet people I want to be friends with. To do what I want to. To be who I think I am.

I feel more motivated here. I feel like...like I'm able to pursue the things I believe in. As you can probably guess, I'm really into blogging, writing and social media. I don't know what all this started happening, somewhere in college I think, but it stuck. And I happen to be pretty good at it. So when I decided that it would be my career path, I knew that there would be some judgement to push through, some stipulations to manage, some confusion, on society's part not mine. 

I know it's not really a conventional choice but it's becoming more and more prevalent in my career field. It all began with journalism. I left theater randomly one day and decided that journalism was my path. And I love it. I love finding facts, seeking truths and sharing them. But man it's a hard world out there! So slowly, I turned from journalism and to blogging, social media and the fun stuff. But as of late, I want to go back to journalism. I want back into that club.

Maybe it's the 4 episodes of The Newsroom that has spurred something deep down and I honestly don't care how I got this motivation, I just got it. I've spent so much time keeping quiet, not sharing my thoughts or feelings and being slightly shy when people ask me what I'm all about. I am about writing. I am about social media. I am about journalism. I am about life.

I think people see "social media" and think I enjoy playing Farmville on Facebook all day. Boy, are you wrong! It's the new frontier, my friend! Get on the boat!

On that note, I've decided that if I want this, if I really want this and if I believe in myself, I will make it happen. Today marks a new day, kids. I am taking my life into my own hands and making it into what I want it to be. I don't care if I'm not supported, I will get there. I am smart, I know what I'm doing and I need to stop cutting myself short.

That's all I have right now. I think I'm subconsciously taking a break from blogging right now. I've been spending a lot of time reading, both books and the news. I'm starting to feel empowered again. I'm starting to feel challenged again.

Thanks, Toronto.

Girls Life.

This morning, Jacob and I had the task of finding a magazine for his sister for her birthday. For her 30th 7th birthday. It's hard trying to find a gift for a sassy, independent, smart 7 year old without trapping her in childhood or propelling her into teen life. 

It was difficult. After Googling "best magazines for a 7 year old," we obtained a list that was interesting to read. It was between wholesome, all-American goodness and fashionista wanna-be's. Neither fit her. 

Eventually we found one that dabbled in a little of both but upheld some childhood values but what I kept thinking about were those little girls who do read CosmoGirl or ElleGirl way to young. 

CosmoGirl

Do you think exposing young girls to media like this at a young age really matters? Is there a problem there?

I remember what I was a tween and I would see my friends reading these magazines or see them on the rack at the store, I wanted that so badly! I wanted to be just like the girls on the cover. But mom wouldn't get them. 

In retrospect, I'm glad she didn't. I think that, if exposed at a young age, these magazines can be toxic to young girls. 

What do you think??

Being Frank.

So you know how most blogs are really happy and glitter filled and we all love that because we all really want our lives to be happy and glitter filled but in reality we all have rants, bad days and negative spurts?? Okay well here's one from me and I hope it's the only one I have today because it's only 7:30 in the morning.

(Note: this isn't going to be a funny post, I'm actually talking about a shooting that happened this morning in Colorado.)

Something maybe you should know about me: I'm obsessed with the news. Not like political news or event news, I'm obsessed with crime. Don't ask me why but I am fascinated with violent crimes. 

On that note, I wake up this morning to a news program all about a shooting in Colorado at a movie theater during the opening showing of Batman. What I gathered was that a man, heavily armed, kicked in the emergency exit and opened fire on a full movie theater. So far, 14 people have been killed and 50 have been hurt. Included in those numbers was a 6 year old child and a 3 month old baby.

It just makes me so...frustrated when I hear things like this. What is so wrong with people in my country that compels them to do this? I just don't get it. I just do not get it. How did this man had the access to serious guns and explosives? Why did he fell that it was okay to enter this FAMILY EVENT and just shoot people at random?

I do not like violence, I don't like guns or even knives. I hate that my country is so...untrustworthy of each other that we feel the need to arm ourselves. Does that not say anything? Why are we so shocked when things like this happen?? No wonder when I'm waiting for the subway or walking down the street and I see someone acting weird or a strange looking man yelling a lot and looking really angry that I get nervous. I've been trained to be nervous. But I don't want to be nervous. 

I don't really know what the purpose of this post is. I don't feel better for venting a little bit. I'm sad that this happened to these families. I'm sad this happened in my country and I'm sad that there's such a crazy rift in my society.

I hope this man, who they arrested with no problems, has a good story to tell, has good reason. I hope he is completely delusional. I hope someone gets closure. I hope he gets the death penalty. 

It's such a shame to me that someone with so many problems just ruined so many lives. 

That's all I have. I need to move on now.