Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Looking In.

Sometimes I feel like God. No, seriously I do! Don't laugh. I feel like God...just without the life-altering powers, all seeing-ness and, well, the old age. 

I spend half my morning observing those in another world. I look into their lives, see what they're up to, what they did yesterday, what they're having for breakfast, what they're doing this weekend. I am able to look into lives that I do not influence on the daily but are connected to in ways. I am God, you see, I am able to be with these people, to touch their lives so subtly that they don't realize I'm here. I am looking in.

Looking In

By being God, of course, I mean that I spend 2 hours in Facebook stalking my friends who live back in the United States. I am physically nothing like God. Way hotter. But it's because of Facebook that I can be so far away and still feel like I'm 2 blocks away from my familiar. I'm constantly looking in. It's like I'm outside and peeking in. It's weird.

I talked with my mom last night about how I feel like I've been forgotten. Now, I'm not looking for pity or anything, it's not like that. I feel like I've been forgotten in the way that nobody contacts me, not really. Again, not pitying myself, it's just an observation from the other side.

Yes, I moved out of the country but that doesn't mean I'm in some twilight zone and I don't have internet or e-mail. [To quote my mother last night: "Do they have Craigslist there?" "Mom, it's not Neptune of course they have Craigslist."] It's just so interesting to observe these lives that I used to be a part of, to look into their day to day and it just seems like it was a dream, ya know?

Honestly, this just motivates me to create a world here of my own. It certainly doesn't feel like a vacation anymore. I'm working on making friends and getting a big girl job. I'm growing to like this invisible wall surrounding me. I feel like I'm in another world and it's all mine. I feel like an exotic explorer that can only be contacted my letter. I need to return home with stories of lands conquered, languages mastered and spirits freed. 

Look out, USA, soon they'll make a move about me! 


  1. OK it's official. I am totally in love with the new writing seems new anyways. More stream of consciousness, less forced, more lyrical. Excellent. Good pictures too. As for beer, well, you are going to have to venture off the beaten path into, wait for it, Neighborhoods!! That's where the good stuff will be found, always is. I've said it before, I'll say it again (and only because you could mark it down as 'research' for your old-man) go seek out The Avro. It's in Riverside, take the Queen streetcar (i'm totally reading this off the site linked to at....
    Tell me what you find...........may be shite, may be amazing, you decide!!

  2. I feel like that most of the time too. Is kind of sad to look, ahhm stalk, people on facebook, twitter or instagram and see that im no longer in the picture with them :(
    But hey we are living great lifes and moving on while most of the people is stick in the same place "/

  3. Hah you're funny!! You can Facebook stalk me anytime ;)

  4. bahaha ok yes I can kind of see the resemblance :) But you're right, you have a brand new life ahead of you! Go out and make it spectacular.