Repeat.

I feel like I'm struggling to keep my head above water.

I'm full of stress, searching daily for things to keep me occupied.

Am I doing enough?

Am I trying hard enough?

Am I making him/them/her/me proud?

Am I really trying? Really?

Each day is a repeat of yesterday.

Log on.

Log in. Sync up. Send in. Hear back. Hear nothing.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Count dollar signs, wait some more.

Receive no signs.

Each day is a repeat of yesterday.

A new roller coaster to experience.

Nothing new in site.

Am I really trying hard enough?

Sometimes paralyzed with fear.

Always with fear.

I hear "You don't have to worry."

I hear "You're not trying hard enough."

I hear "Why are you stressed out?"

I hear "Do more."

But where's the line?

Where is that line between being, doing, trying enough

and not?

Each day is a repeat of the yesterday.

Starting like the sun, rising, bright and shining.

As the day goes on, the light dims.

The night comes and creeps across everything. 

Wrapping its fingers around my ability to breath calmly.

Each day is a repeat of yesterday.

And each repeated day brings the same night.