|This morning's coffee.|
1. I've been feeling a lot more socially fulfilled lately, which is ironic because this week I've stopped working at my internship and that was like half of my social time. Then I was sitting at my desk at the studio this morning talking to my director and two of the older dancers and it struck me. I hang out with more people age 10-16 then I do my own age. It's time to start hanging out with people my own age.
2. I realize that I go home in 10 days. That's incredible! I'm so so excited but also a bit sad. That means another year has gone by that I've been creating this other life in which I'm not totally comfortable with. I think I need the little switch in my brain to click so I realize that this is a good thing, that I really do, deep down, love what I'm doing and where I am. I think I'm still clinging to the hope that everything will go back to normal. But I don't want it to, I like traveling and living in interesting places and seeing things and meeting new people. Dear brain, please get it through you!!
3. I've been enjoying running more. I ran for the first time outside yesterday and it was really really hard! But I liked it because I felt like I was making progress because I could see where my run ends and could give it actual distance. I've also spent the past few days looking at pictures of myself in 2011 when I lost a ton of weight. I was so confident and happy. I want that back. I want to look in the mirror and like what I see, not make excuses for what I see.
I have a goal. I'm giving myself till June to get myself back to where I want to be. That's a long time, I know, but I have a vacation planned for Vegas and I want to be able to walk around in shorts and a bikini and feel okay with it. I'm starting now. Wish me luck!
|Christmas tree in my building.|
5. On my quest to better myself, I've successfully stopped biting my nails! They aren't very long yet but they're getting there, slowly. This is a HUGE deal for me. I've been biting my nails I think since before my nails started even forming (ew)! It's a nervous tick I think. But I decided that I was nice hands for Christmas and New Years pictures. Plus, having nice nails always has a way of making me feel more girlie!
What has everyone else been up to? Anything you want to get off your chest? I'm all ears!