Bright Sun Shiny Day

This week has been pretty good. I've been so busy, though. Between working 8 hours a day, I've been hitting the gym a lot and spending some much needed fun time with my babe. And for the first time in a long, long time, I don't feel like I'm being shrouded by a dark blanket. 

On Tuesday, I saw a doctor for the first time in like literally years. I've been having some persistent problems with anger and depressed feelings. So I decided it's time to take charge and figure out what I need to do to start to feel better. After my nerves subsided, I met me new doctor, Marc Johnson, and I instantly felt a thousand times better.

We talked about a lot of things, and in the end, he's really made moves to help me feel better. I have a referral to a therapist, someone who can help me figure out my anxieties about my life and where I am now, and has started me on some antidepressants. 

Let me interject by saying that I wasn't a fan of getting on medications. I've always felt like it was a cope out, or that I would be giving up by seeking this kind of help. I have been on them in the past and I have seen therapists in the past, but nothing has stuck. Dr. Johnson has helped me see that I am fine, I just need some help through this difficult period in my life.

So I have started taking my medication and I honestly couldn't tell you if it's working or if I'm just feeling the release of having that weight gone, but I feel like I'm already seeing improvements! The things I battled with the most were irritability, anger (more like rage sometimes), immobilizing sadness and lack of interest in the things I love to do (ahem, like write on my blog...) and I feel like I'm already taking back what was mine!

Sure, things have happened that have triggered my temper, like I can physically feel it. I get hot and my heart races. Over the past few year, that temper would flare at the drop of a hat...literally...something that I often got into a rage over was dropping things. But for the past few days, I can feel it get triggered, but I have a much easier time letting it go. This is so, so amazing for me. I feel so much better already. 

I've noticed that I have generally more energy. You'd think I have a ton of energy simply because I work out a lot and I drink Bulletproof Coffee, but honestly it was so hard to keep moving. Most days after work, I just wanted to curl into a ball and sleep. 

Anyway, I won't go into the whole deal because it would really be boring for someone who isn't me or Jake, but also because it's a private matter. I just wanted to share that I feel like the 3 year winter is over! I'm feeling emotionally happier, I'm getting fit and losing weight and I've actually looking forward to things again!

I feel like I just got me back.


And I feel like I was just in a prescription commercial!

Here are some pictures from my week so far! 

Breakfast: 2 turkey sausage patties, 2 poached eggs and some salsa

I ordered this amazing stamp for myself...I love it so!
Check out The Plaid Barn if you like this!

Chipotle Lime Shrimp at dinner on Monday, so good!

My little lettuce friend! I love him so much! Serves no purpose...
besides being ADORABLE!

Celebrating National Margarita Day last Saturday

Oscar Glory

I don't know why, but I really love watching the Oscars. 

When I was a kid, we used to watch all the award shows. We would make something special dinner and usually a cake for dessert. We would all watch together, commenting on the dresses and actors. As a kid, I never knew anything about the actors or really cared about the fashion, it was just a really good time!

In the past few years, I've gotten back into award season. I think it's cool when people get recognition for their hard work (I know what you're thinking "they get paid millions of dollars and are famous, what more could they want?" I just love it anyway). This year, I'm making effort to watch all the films nominated for Best Picture, Actor/Actress and Supporting Actor/Actress. If you are unfamiliar with the nominations, they are as follows:

Best Picture

American Hustle

Captain Phillips

Dallas Buyers Club

Gravity

Her

Nebraska

Philomena

12 Years a Slave

The Wolf of Wall Street

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Christian Bale (American Hustle)

Bruce Dem (Nebraska)

Leonardo DiCaprio (The Wolf of Wall Street)

Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave)

Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Amy Adams (American Hustle)

Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)

Sandra Bullock (Gravity)

Judi Dench (Philomena)

Meryl Streep (August: Osage Country)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Barkhad Abdi (Captain Phillips)

Bradley Cooper (American Hustle)

Michael Fassbender (12 Years a Slave)

Jonah Hill (The Wolf of Wall Street)

Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Sally Hawkins (Blue Jasmine)

Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle)

Lupita Nyong'o (12 Years a Slave)

Julia Roberts (August: Osage Country)

June Squibb (Nebraska) 

PHEW.

I have currently seen 5 our of the 9 Best Picture nominees and have yet to see Blue Jasmine or August: Osage Country. From what I've seen, here are my thoughts (in short):

While I was really pumped for this movie, I was a little let down. The hype it received didn't live up to the finished product. Don't get me wrong, it was a good, entertaining movie. But I don't see it as the Best Picture of the year. It was a great period piece with costumes that were amazing. The music was good and the story line was fun, but again, nothing that I think could stand never to 12 Years a Slave (even though I have yet to watch that one, I just feel like it's going to be intense). 

Overall, I enjoyed it! But I don't think it's Best Picture worthy.

I just watched this today so it's really fresh in my emotional mind. I will straight up say that the last 10 minutes I just cried. It was such a super charged emotional movie that it was hard not to! The movie didn't leave much for down time, which I liked. I find that some high intensity, emotionally stressful movies put in too much down time. I liked that I didn't see all the best parts in the previews, the second half of the film I didn't even know was going to happen. It was an interesting, suspenseful and upsetting film that I really did enjoy. But again, I'm not sure I would pick it as the Best Picture of the year.

I loved this movie so much. I have always held a deep interest or fascination in the HIV/AIDS epidemic not only of the 1980's but also of the present. I think the story is so culturally important and interesting that it's hard not wish this film well. It's truly the underdog film of the year, I think. The story brings you close to the characters and gives you an inside look at, what is in my opinion, the scariest diseases the world faces. I don't what else to say about it, but if it doesn't win Best Picture (and I'm not saying that I want it to), it will always be one of my favorite movies.

Check back later this week for 3 more reviews and then again on Sunday when I cast my ballot!

Did you see any of these three films? What did you think?

Bulletproof Coffee

My mind is literally fucking losing it's shit right now. 

I am currently as I type drinking my first cup of Bulletproof Coffee. For those who don't know what it is, I won't be it justice, you need to Google that shit. BUT basically, it's French Press brewed coffee from special, clean beans, blended with coconut oil and grass-fed butter, or Ghee. 

This is literally the best cup of coffee I have ever had.
Especially one made at home.
I don't think I'll ever NOT drink it.

Supposedly, it's like crack, according to my boyfriend, and gives you hours of energy. He made his first cup yesterday before pulling a 13 hour work day at the office. When he picked me up after work, I thought he would never stop fucking talking, he was so peppy. So I was a little convinced that I needed to try it. 

So, as of right now, I'm pretty much hooked. Good bye 32 creamers in my burnt Folgers coffee to mask the flavor of gross. Good bye 4 cups of normal coffee before noon to keep my eyelids up. Good bye afternoon crash (I hope). 

I am so jumping on this bandwagon. 

Blending!

Ghee and Coconut Oil

Look how creamy it is!

Butter in coffee? I think so!

Letter to Today

Dear Today...

You felt like Monday. You were busy and long and, besides being one of the first gorgeous days in a long time, you were cold. And while it's kinda starting to get late and I'm still up, I'm glad you're almost over.

But let's be real, Tuesday. You're a step towards the weekend and that's okay with me! Today I was thinking about myself and how I could make more progress on my weight loss challenge and my thoughts strayed to how I could improve myself in general. And that's when I thought something...I've changed a lot this year. I've become more outspoken and opinionated and loud. I've become a little more rude and judgmental, drawing conclusions about people and situations before I know any details or points of view. While I think it's a product of my job, I decided today that I don't want it to affect me anymore.

When I embarked on this adventure, I was teased a lot because I was nice. It made me feel kind of horrible about myself, but I liked being nice to people. When I moved to Canada it was awesome because everyone was nice, like me! I felt like I could be myself without judgement. Unfortunately, my job requires me to be a little more harsh with people, and that's fine, it's taught me a lot about how to have a back bone, but I want to be nice again. 

So starting tomorrow, I will hold my tongue and try a little harder to swallow the snappy things I would have said and remember that I used to be nice once. In full disclosure, it's not anyone else's fault that I started being like this. I've enjoyed learning how to have a back bone, at least. I just feel like I've learned something about myself today and I'm happy about it.

I think the next step will be to maybe find the balance between back-bone-having-bitchy-Freya and likes-everyone-and-isn't-mean-Freya. 

If anyone has suggestions, please feel free...

Getting Into The Spirit

Guys, Valentine's Day is coming....

...I think about this and imagine a Godzilla-sized, pink-and-red clad, heart shaped candy-wielding monster coming to get me and publicly force me to prove my love for Jake. But, I'm luckily dating one of the most creative and spontaneous guys literally around and he always comes up with some great ideas for Valentine's Day!

Note: I'm not bragging about my Valentine's experiences. In the past, I've usually loathed them, and I kind of do today. I'm just trying to share my unusual experiences to show you Valentine's doesn't have to be boring!

As a result of all the cool shit we get up to on our journey together, I've started keeping a box of souvenirs! This all ties together I promise. I thought it would be a cool idea to pull an item from the box and maybe share it's story. It just happens that the item I picked came from our Valentine's Day celebration last year!

When we Arrived

For Valentine's Day last year, Jake took me to a local winery in the Ontario countryside...Okay, this sounds super fancy already but it was February so that means that the countryside wasn't very visually appealing...unless you like an endless snow tundra...

Anyway.

We went to this delightful, small winery in Jordan, Ontario named Creekside Estate and stayed at

Cooper's Cottage

Inn on the Twenty. We spent the first night at a great local pub (I think literally the only other place besides the winery in town...I kid you not, this place was tiny), got drunk on cheap beer and played pool while a 3 man band played to the almost empty bar. The next day was full of sightseeing the area and exploring around us. We wound up in St. Catharines, which was pretty adorable; loads of little shops and restaurants, cute little places to go and be super Canadian. 

Unfortunately, it was literally freezing and we ran from place to place to keep warm. We decided to attend a movie playing at the local theater. And when I say theater, I mean like play theater not movie theater. Turns out the local theater goes unused in Shaw Festival off-season, so what better way to keep it in use than to show movies?! We saw Silver Linings Playbook that afternoon a midst the swarms of older patrons and middle aged couples. 

Breakfast!

Before the show, there was a set up of wine and pastries, all raising money for local organizations and providing a fun atmosphere than a normal movie theater. We arrived slightly early, battling the cars to parking spots and rushing through the snow to find warmth inside. After downing a glass of wine each while watching the slowly drifting snow, we all shuffled into the theater and the movie began. 

There's something so amazing about that weekend. This ticket stub will hold a place in my heart for ages to come! I hope everyone has a pleasant Valentine's Day, and if not, then I hope you have a great time bashing the vile day with your close girlfriends and hopefully one of many bottles of wine!

And just remember that memories are greater than presents!