Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Letter to Today

Dear Today...

You felt like Monday. You were busy and long and, besides being one of the first gorgeous days in a long time, you were cold. And while it's kinda starting to get late and I'm still up, I'm glad you're almost over.

But let's be real, Tuesday. You're a step towards the weekend and that's okay with me! Today I was thinking about myself and how I could make more progress on my weight loss challenge and my thoughts strayed to how I could improve myself in general. And that's when I thought something...I've changed a lot this year. I've become more outspoken and opinionated and loud. I've become a little more rude and judgmental, drawing conclusions about people and situations before I know any details or points of view. While I think it's a product of my job, I decided today that I don't want it to affect me anymore.

When I embarked on this adventure, I was teased a lot because I was nice. It made me feel kind of horrible about myself, but I liked being nice to people. When I moved to Canada it was awesome because everyone was nice, like me! I felt like I could be myself without judgement. Unfortunately, my job requires me to be a little more harsh with people, and that's fine, it's taught me a lot about how to have a back bone, but I want to be nice again. 

So starting tomorrow, I will hold my tongue and try a little harder to swallow the snappy things I would have said and remember that I used to be nice once. In full disclosure, it's not anyone else's fault that I started being like this. I've enjoyed learning how to have a back bone, at least. I just feel like I've learned something about myself today and I'm happy about it.

I think the next step will be to maybe find the balance between back-bone-having-bitchy-Freya and likes-everyone-and-isn't-mean-Freya. 

If anyone has suggestions, please feel free...

No comments:

Post a Comment