Thursday, February 27, 2014

Bright Sun Shiny Day

This week has been pretty good. I've been so busy, though. Between working 8 hours a day, I've been hitting the gym a lot and spending some much needed fun time with my babe. And for the first time in a long, long time, I don't feel like I'm being shrouded by a dark blanket. 

On Tuesday, I saw a doctor for the first time in like literally years. I've been having some persistent problems with anger and depressed feelings. So I decided it's time to take charge and figure out what I need to do to start to feel better. After my nerves subsided, I met me new doctor, Marc Johnson, and I instantly felt a thousand times better.

We talked about a lot of things, and in the end, he's really made moves to help me feel better. I have a referral to a therapist, someone who can help me figure out my anxieties about my life and where I am now, and has started me on some antidepressants. 

Let me interject by saying that I wasn't a fan of getting on medications. I've always felt like it was a cope out, or that I would be giving up by seeking this kind of help. I have been on them in the past and I have seen therapists in the past, but nothing has stuck. Dr. Johnson has helped me see that I am fine, I just need some help through this difficult period in my life.

So I have started taking my medication and I honestly couldn't tell you if it's working or if I'm just feeling the release of having that weight gone, but I feel like I'm already seeing improvements! The things I battled with the most were irritability, anger (more like rage sometimes), immobilizing sadness and lack of interest in the things I love to do (ahem, like write on my blog...) and I feel like I'm already taking back what was mine!

Sure, things have happened that have triggered my temper, like I can physically feel it. I get hot and my heart races. Over the past few year, that temper would flare at the drop of a hat...literally...something that I often got into a rage over was dropping things. But for the past few days, I can feel it get triggered, but I have a much easier time letting it go. This is so, so amazing for me. I feel so much better already. 

I've noticed that I have generally more energy. You'd think I have a ton of energy simply because I work out a lot and I drink Bulletproof Coffee, but honestly it was so hard to keep moving. Most days after work, I just wanted to curl into a ball and sleep. 

Anyway, I won't go into the whole deal because it would really be boring for someone who isn't me or Jake, but also because it's a private matter. I just wanted to share that I feel like the 3 year winter is over! I'm feeling emotionally happier, I'm getting fit and losing weight and I've actually looking forward to things again!

I feel like I just got me back.

And I feel like I was just in a prescription commercial!

Here are some pictures from my week so far! 

Breakfast: 2 turkey sausage patties, 2 poached eggs and some salsa
I ordered this amazing stamp for myself...I love it so!
Check out The Plaid Barn if you like this!
Chipotle Lime Shrimp at dinner on Monday, so good!

My little lettuce friend! I love him so much! Serves no purpose...
besides being ADORABLE!

Celebrating National Margarita Day last Saturday

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