Time has started to blend together. I don't know when one day ends and another begins. I try having a routine, but nothing seems to stick. Wake up, breakfast, putter around, make lunch, clean up, shower, laundry, cleaning, Internet, TV, reading. Rinse repeat.
Today, I'm waiting for some news. I feel upside-down, however, as the sky matches the curtains and blends together, bringing the outside in and the inside out. I am searching for something to organize, to finish, to feel productive. I'm searching for a reason to not be frustrated. Today, I'm waiting for some news: did I get the job?
Thinking about going back to work is a weird thought. The last time I went to work was June 18. The last time I went to work and actually had something to really do was May 31. You know when you get really ill and spend anywhere from a few days in bed to a few weeks? Then you have to walk up stairs for the first time, lungs burning, legs weak and wobbly? That's how I feel about working. I think I'm going to have wobbly-work legs. I feel the need to attack the stair-master now.
I think starting work would be really great at this point in time. I'm coming to the end of my rope. I'm really, really done having no income and being about to contribute to my relationship as well as purchase things that I want/need (new running shoes are at the top of my list).
I'm approaching my 25th birthday and I think it would be really great if I was able say that I have a good career by then. I have a lot of goals for the next year and having a good starter career is at the top of my list. With the move next year already looming in my brain (I know, I haven't even moved into my new apartment and I'm already thinking about next year!), I want to be prepared for finding a job next year.
So in order to feel productive and proactive in my life, I have a good list of things to accomplish today:
1. Print off and plan our week in paleo meals.
2. Apply for loan deferment (again)
3. Refold everything in our suitcases (hopefully so we'll be ready to go when we get to move in!)
4. Load some boxes in the car.
5. If I don't get the job and don't have to go fill out paperwork, then I think I'll head to the library!
6. Read some more of Insurgent (I am LOVING it!)
7. Update my blog, maybe write a few more posts.
I've missed it here, having somewhere to write and vent and construct my thoughts. I think I'll be around more often :)