I have this unsettling feeling that this isn't going to be enough. I spend most of my moments dreaming of what's to come. While I'm content with where I am, I'm not content on what's to come.
What is to come? I don't know yet. Well then how can you not be content with something you don't know yet? Because I should plan something, shouldn't I?
I have this unsettling feeling that this isn't going to be enough, that I'm going to want more. But then, why is that an unsettling feeling? Shouldn't it be a good feeling to want more? Maybe it's only a good feeling when you can obtain more. But I can obtain more. I have to push for more, I guess.
I have recently connected with someone from the far corners of my past. We were never close friends, or really friends at all. It was a fellow classmate that spent four years in the same institution (high school) as I did. I hope I don't offend but let's be honest, I don't even remember if we talked much.
Beside the point.
I've suddenly immersed myself in her story. It's really interesting, what happens after you forget your story for a while and listen to someone else's. It feels like someone reset my brain and gave me new aspirations.
It's interesting to me to find someone who is a lot like me. Who I can relate to, even in a small way. It's even more interesting when I find someone like that who has been in my past and, back then, wasn't a part of my present. It's funny how people like that come from the woodwork every so often.
I hope this new found fire that's smouldering inside me will grow. I so badly want the child inside me to prosper. Children have profound hopes, thoughts and dreams. I want my redirected profound thoughts to be reapplied to my new found independence. I want to see where my inner child can take me.