I have this unsettling feeling that this isn't going to be enough. I spend
most of my moments dreaming of what's to come. While I'm content with where I
am, I'm not content on what's to come.
What is to come? I don't know yet. Well then how can you not be
content with something you don't know yet? Because I should plan something,
shouldn't I?
I have this unsettling feeling that this isn't going to be enough, that I'm
going to want more. But then, why is that an unsettling feeling? Shouldn't it
be a good feeling to want more? Maybe it's only a good feeling when you can
obtain more. But I can obtain more. I have to push for more, I guess.
I have recently connected with someone from the far corners of my past. We
were never close friends, or really friends at all. It was a fellow classmate
that spent four years in the same institution (high school) as I did. I hope I
don't offend but let's be honest, I don't even remember if we talked much.
Beside the point.
I've suddenly immersed myself in her story. It's really interesting, what
happens after you forget your story for a while and listen to someone else's.
It feels like someone reset my brain and gave me new aspirations.
It's interesting to me to find someone who is a lot like me. Who I can
relate to, even in a small way. It's even more interesting when I find someone
like that who has been in my past and, back then, wasn't a part of my present.
It's funny how people like that come from the woodwork every so often.
I hope this new found fire that's smouldering inside me will grow. I so
badly want the child inside me to prosper. Children have profound hopes,
thoughts and dreams. I want my redirected profound thoughts to be reapplied to
my new found independence. I want to see where my inner child can take me.
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