Things I Now Know About Myself

For someone who is usually semi reluctant to change, I find myself at a cross roads more often then not these days. Something in my life is always a-changin’.

Next week, my internship at Post City Magazines is over. I’m having a lot of mixed feelings on the topic. As my first real experience with a publication, I think it was a pretty successful one. Not only have I been able to grow my portfolio like I wanted, but I’ve learned a lot about writing, working at a publication and myself.

Writing: When I left college, I was convinced that news writing wasn’t for me, that I wanted to write long, witty, flowery stories and spend weeks and week working on one piece. While I think a part of me still feels this way, I think I want to try out news writing again. After spending a few months of food writing and writing reviews and trying to be witty everyday, I think I need to try straight forward news. While I enjoy painting a picture and developing a story, like in creative writing, I’m no good at it when I have to talk about a subject.

Working at a publication: Jake and I have almost always butt heads about working environments. When we lived in Toronto, he created this really cool desk/office area so us in our bedroom. He spent more time there then I did, honestly, so I didn’t make any fuss over how it would be, but I learned something crazy about myself. I need creative clutter. I have to have a space that is comfy, with pictures and color and noise (both audible and visual). Jake needs to have everything in order, clean, organized and quiet. This was just reaffirmed with me when I started at the magazine. Nothing against the office, but it was too quite for me. I felt like I couldn’t work right in that environment. Eventually, I did get used to it, actually. But I still had to at least listen to music all day.

Myself: I think I learned the most about myself during the process. I learned that I hate mornings without coffee even more when I actually have work to do. I learned that I like coming up with story ideas, even though I rarely shared any, it was fun to see what I came up with compared to what other writers came up with. I learned that I work best while chewing gum and multitasking (meaning I usually have 4 or more tabs open on the Internet browser and am constantly reading, reading,reading). I learned that every hour or so, I need to take a short break, get some water and have a quick chat with either someone around me or someone online.

 

You learn a lot about yourself when you’re put into a situation that you’re usually not familiar with. I’ve never worked in an office environment before, so it was interesting realizing the different things I’m okay with and what I’m not okay with. I def wouldn’t trade this experience for anything in the book, for a first internship it went really well. I’m excited to move forward, to try out new things and to see where else I can go.

 

But in all honesty, I’m excited to sleep the F in from now on!   

My Least Favorite Place.

Alright, ladies (And and occasional gentleman who stumbles across this) lets talk about employment. Or in my case, the lack there of. 

Source.

My employment started back when I was 16. I had just got a car and was feeling very happy and full of myself. I got my first job at Coldstone, the ice cream place where you have to sing if you get tipped. I loved it. Ice cream AND singing? I couldn't be happier.

Long story short, it didn't work out in the end and I found myself back on the job market. I was feeling better because I had actually had a job before and felt like I had the upper leg on a lot of other people. Little did I know that from that moment, it would only get harder to get a job.

Now I sit here, 8 friggin years later (friggin years because I just realized how long ago that was and am suddenly feeling quite old) I'm facing unemployment again. I think it's my least favorite place to be. And I have been in some very unfavorable places before.

Throughout my history in the work force, I have held some jobs that I didn't particularly like, but I kept them because I was lucky to have a job and should be thankful (this in actually not what I was thinking at the time but...well...trying to stay positive today).

 I think I've hit my wall. I've been unemployed for about six weeks and it has been the longest six weeks of my life. I've had a few bites at my fishing line but nothing has stuck. I've trekked over an hour on the subway for an interview and haven't received anything in return. I had an interview for an unpaid internship that would have been so good for me but, 3 weeks later, I haven't heard anything. Sigh.

So, as I stare at the now-purple links to help wanted ads on Craigslist, I wonder: Am I reaching the point where I will cross my line? Now my line is the line I've drawn between the jobs I think I'm either too old or over qualified for and the jobs that I normally apply for. I have applied, talked to and reached out to everything I know here in Toronto and I'm reaching the end of my rope.

I've literally been pacing my apartment, getting angry at the TV, straightening up things that aren't messy. I go to the gym because I get bored. Just waiting for someone to take interest in me. But am I reaching the place where I'll start applying for busser positions or counter service positions? I'm not afraid to say I am usually better then that but now that I have less then half as much money in my bank account as I need to pay my bills due in 6 days, I'm losing it. 

Guys, I think I'm desperate. I've done pretty good this week staying positive. But as the weekend approaches, I'm running out of positivity. I think this is the point in my life where I have to stop and ask for help.

Have any advise on either job hunting or how to stay positive?

Feeling Very Full.

Of myself, that it. I'm feeling very full of myself at the moment because, as I type this, I am sitting at my new internship in Toronto.

Not only have I moved thousands of miles outside my comfort zones in pretty much every single sense of the friggin word (and been pretty successful...), I have taken my first step (besides this here blog) towards developing a career!

I am now part of the team that manages and runs the social media for an up and coming website in Toronto! Although it's my first day and I have yet to get annoyed with a client or customer or (God forbid) boss, I'm still pretty positive.

The only other thing that makes me things happy (besides the wildly successful and dangerously handsome boyfriend) is this: