Whole30: COMPLETE!

So about 30 days ago, Jake and I launched ourselves into a lifestyle change. I was fed up feeling shitty after eating and over eating and he wanted a new challenge. So we started eating Paleo. 

This past Wednesday, we completed our first 30 days of the challenge! To sum up the experience, I have really enjoyed not only the challenge of the first 30 days but I really like the results!

As a "special treat" in celebration of our first 30 days, Jake and I decided to embark on a food journey through all our old favorite foods. It mainly started because for the past week I've been craving cheese pizza. Every night, we would tell each other what we've been craving lately. So yesterday, we decided to eat whatever we wanted, in secret hopes that it'd make us feel shitty and we won't want them again.

Let me tell you, it totally worked. For lunch, we went to BarHop and had fried pickles and french fries to start. Then I ordered one of my favorites, a Reuben sandwich, with a Cesar salad on the side (I didn't think I was going to be able to do that many fries...). It was all very, very delicious but this was how much of my lunch I was able to eat:

 

Yup, that's it! I managed half of and half of a sandwich and a few big pieces of lettuce. It was so good but almost instantly, I started to feel too full and really, really gross. it didn't help that before lunch Jake wanted to get donuts (Canada, if you didn't know, is pretty famous for Tim Horton's. It's like the Canadian Dunkin Donuts but way, way better. The donuts are absolutely to die for and we wanted one...or two...).

 

After getting our lunches wrapped up to take home, we stopped by Shoppers (Canadian version of Rite Aid) to get some Tums...and Easter Candy (we thought, hey go big or go home). We stumbled home and crashed on the couch, both to take a food-induced nap to help settle our tummy's.

 

The nap didn't help.

 

About 3 hours later, I felt like someone had inserted a beach ball into my body and was slowly blowing it up. Last night I couldn't help thinking, "I can't wait till I get to eat carrots and hard boiled eggs tomorrow."

 

All in all, I'm glad we felt like shit last night. It made me shudder at the leftover box I saw in the fridge this morning as I reached for my orange and hard boiled eggs for breakfast.

 

I don't think I've lost a ton of weight over the past month. I started working out more (about 6 days a week) and am feeling better. I sleep great and I never, ever get that too full, gross feeling after I eat. I'm excited to continue with paleo this next month and work out more. I think after the next 30 days, we'll allow ourselves another cheat day. I'm looking forward to some wings in 30 days!

 

Jake with his tiny beer!

I felt miserable in thsi picture...

 

My first real beer in a long while...so good!

Fried pickles and french fries.




 

 

 

Frank O'Hara

I took a creative writing course when I was in college. For the second installment of the course, we spent a long time studying poetry. I found this piece I wrote hidden in old files as I was cleaning out my lap top. I read it a few times and really enjoyed it. I thought I would share.

It seems that I wrote this poem as a cover of a Frank O'Hara poem. Frank O'Hara was an American poet who died in the 1960's. He was a great writer.

Here is the original text:

Why I am not a Painter 

Frank O'Hara

I am not a painter, I am a poet.
Why? I think I would rather be
a painter, but I am not. Well,

for instance, Mike Goldberg
is starting a painting. I drop in.
"Sit down and have a drink" he
says. I drink; we drink. I look
up. "You have SARDINES in it."
"Yes, it needed something there."
"Oh." I go and the days go by
and I drop in again. The painting
is going on, and I go, and the days
go by. I drop in. The painting is 
finished. "Where's SARDINES?"
All that's left is just
letters, "It was too much," Mike says.

But me? One day I am thinking of
a color: orange. I write a line
about orange. Pretty soon it is a 
whole page of words, not lines.
Then another page. There should be
so much more, not of orange, of
words, of how terrible orange is
and life. Days go by. It is even in
prose, I am a real poet. My poem
is finished and I haven't mentioned
orange yet. It's twelve poems, I call
it ORANGES. And one day in a gallery
I see Mike's painting, called SARDINES.

Here is my cover of a Frank O'Hara poem.

Why I am not a Painter.

Paint a poet.

Why? I think I would.

But I am not a painter.

Mike Goldberg, for instance,

Started a drop painting.

“Sit down and have a drink,” says he.

I drink. I look.

“You have sardines up in it.”

“Something needed it there.”

I go by the days.

I go buy the painting.

“Where’s the finished sardines?”

That’s just all left.

Mike says, “Too much letters.”

I am thinking of one day.

I write a color orange line.

Pretty soon it is about orange.

Whole lines, not pages.

There should be another page.

Not so much orange.

How terrible words of orange are.

Days go by, even life.

I am a real poem.

I haven’t finished.

I call twelve poems “Orange.”

And oranges one day in a gallery.

I see sardines called painting.

Interesting, eh? It seems like the assignment was to take out words or rearrange them. I think I may even like my version better!

Do you write poetry?

Bom Bom

Over the past few years, really since I graduated from college, I've been a little lax on my music intake. I've watched more movies and TV in the past two years and I think its beginning to rot my brain. 

In an effort to reverse these effects, I started listening to more music by downloading albums, sets and songs and uploading them onto my phone. Finally, I have some awesome music to listen to instead of like the same rotating 8 songs that I usually play on my phone. Here are some tracks/sets that I've been loving lately!

Bom Bom by Sam and the Womp

Hardwell's set from Ultra Music Festival 2013

2.1.2. Azelia Banks (Warning it's... inappropriate...)

Crabbucket by K-OS

Happy Friday to those who don't work tomorrow due to Good Friday! Wahoo!

Lookin' Good!

Looks good, huh? Well go check it out! Click on my tab, From My Kitchen, With Love and check out some ridiculous recipes, from paleo to normal! Let me know what you think!

I am the Mist.

I know it's been a reoccurring post here on my ol' bloggy, but it's a reoccurring theme in my life as of late. The constant battle to feel comfortable.

This past weekend I was sitting in the back row at a theater watching the dancers from ADA, the studio I work for, compete in their first competition of the year. I sat there for a good hour, just by myself. I didn't mind, I really enjoying dancing, especially young dancers because I think they have so much potential and it's refreshing to see young people dedicated and putting their whole life into something. 

After a while, I realized something. As long as I sit here, nobody will know I'm here. The people shuffling in and out of the theater, they'd look at me but nobody knew me, nobody really knew I was there. To them, I'm a stranger, they don't care. But then again, to this entire city, I'm a stranger. I'm stuck in this stranger's skin.

Courtesy of Jartweb.

The day before this moment, a co-worker turned to me and laughed. She said that if she didn't have to be at the competition, she wouldn't be and here I am, voluntarily at the competition being supportive of everyone and enjoying myself. That's when I realized that I'm only a fleeting moment in these peoples' lives. In three years, they won't remember me but forever, this will be a huge part of my life. I will forever remember Toronto in fondness because I found people that made me feel accepted. But, with no negative feelings towards anyone I'm referencing, I'm like a sliver to them: stuck in the shallow folds of their skin but will soon be plucked out and forgotten about. And that made me feel truly like a wallflower (and you know my obsession with The Perks of Being a Wallflower), the word just seems to fit me. 

But it's not all bad. Over the past few years, I've become this observer. I stand off to the sit, occasionally stepping into the circle, but essentially I just observe people. I get to know names and families and personalities. I catch bits and pieces of their lives and form a whole story based on what I observe. In my mind, these people are quite real. They go to school, go to work, have friends and relationships and it's all in my mind. I live in half and half: half imaginary and half reality. If I ever do become a fiction writer, I'll sure have some good material for characters.

Maybe that's just what I'm destined to be: the Observer. Like an official career title, I'll go through life, effecting little and observing a lot. Then, when it's time, I'll document all my stories in a historical fiction kind of way, maybe a memoir (if my life is ever important enough to record). And all my characters will be based upon the people whom I have met along the way and who have changed me, even if they don't know they have or don't care that they have.

It comes this time of year, when I start becoming nostalgic and emotional. It's time to start thinking about moving, it's time to start moving parts of me while other parts want to hold onto what I have here. But the reality is is that it's time to start mentally packing, to start distancing myself and preparing to be in a strange place again. 

I see myself like a mist in the fall. It creeps in, coating everything in a blanket of distortion. Then once the sun comes up, I dissipate. You'll remember me as something that was there for a fleeting moment and now is gone.

Spring has Sprung

Well it's officially Spring time. And besides the snow blizzard yesterday morning, it's actually starting to look like Spring around here. Sure, there's snow and ice everywhere still but if you look up into the sky, you see blue and sunshine.

This weekend is my studio's first competition. I'm excited to attend my first competition and support the girls (and boy). They've been working so hard. It's going to be a whole other universe then I'm use to. I'm excited to feel like I belong somewhere.

It's also around the time where I start looking for a new job again. I've pulled out the ol' resume (which isn't so ol' as I've updated it more times this year then I know what to do with) and dusted it off. I've made a list of all the job websites and companies I'm interested in in Arkansas and am hoping for the best. Send me your good thoughts?

I'm having good feelings about this move. I'm really excited to experience a part of the country that I've never been to before. I'm looking forward to warmer weather and exploring a culture I know nothing about. I think a good feeling about finding a job there and if that doesn't pan out, I have back up plans. 

But moving isn't the only thing I'm looking forward to in the next 6 months! My best friend is coming to visit in May (AHHHH!) and it's also my boyfriend's birthday in May (as well as my momma!). In June, Jake and I along with some close friends, are heading to Las Vegas to check out Electronic Daisy Carnival for the first time! I'm so excited, SO EXCITED. Then we move in July! Holy cow.

What are you looking forward to in the next 6 months?

A Little Playlist

Since I watched The Perks of Being a Wallflower I've become a little obsessed with the soundtrack. It's just all my old favorite music that it's like I forgot about! I thought I'd make it a playlist for you guys, so you could enjoy it too!

Blue.

See the white? That's snow...and that white
is covering a lake...

Maybe it's the lack of sunny sunshine around here, but I've been feeling pretty blue these days. It was probably the week of nothing that's brought me down. I find that I'm not very happy when I'm not very busy. I like being productive. I think I measure happiness by To-Do check lists. 

This week, I chose to write my white board in colorful markers. I started keeping track of things I want to accomplish in my week on a white board behind my computer. I find it helps keep me on task most of the time. As I sit here goofing off, my weekly tasks loom in the background. It works.

It's almost the end of March and that means the home stretch here in Toronto. In July, Jake and I will move again, this time to Arkansas. I think I'm sad because I'm going to miss it here. I really enjoy this city, it's size, it's hustle and bustle, it's noise and smells. I got attached, something you really shouldn't do when you move this often.

But I'm looking forward to next year. Being somewhere drastically different then I'm used to. Somewhere small may be good for a change. We're moving from a city of 2.something million people to a city of about 75,000. I'm hoping to get back in touch with being familiar. I think being somewhere smaller will help me feel like I belong somewhere. 

It's time to gear up my resume and cover letter and get back out there. Maybe that's what's making me blue. I hate job searching and when do you it for a few months out of every year, it takes a lot out of you. I can't wait till I have the same job for more then a year. Well, shit, at least I'm experiencing a lot, right??

Daily-O Paleo: Week Three Recap

And week three came to an end while we move into the final home stretch.

Last week went a little smoother. I had the week off so cooking wasn't an issue. But I did fail to get into a swing of prep. I've started making double portions for dinner so we have a quick lunch. 

We've almost cooked our way through a whole paleo cookbook, Well Fed: Recipes for People Who Love to Eat. It's been my favorite paleo book so far. Really good recipes!!

You'll find some of the recipes I made last week here. I highly recommend the Rogan Josh, it is really fantastic! 

I think I've been getting a better idea of how to cook without guidelines. I find that I need cookbooks, however, to find inspiration. I've been learning a lot about spices as well. My new favorite is curry powder and cumin. 

Recipe coming soon!

Instead of keeping a list of all the meals I've made, I'm going to post them to my recipe page. So if you are interested in trying anything out, just check there from time to time. I posted a recipe today for Paleo Pancakes, which are super yummy! 

As for myself, my body, things are slowly getting better. My headaches are gone and I've been sleeping better. I did, however, slip up twice this week. Maybe two and a half times. On Thursday, I ate one chocolate chip. Just a single chocolate chip. I was purchasing carob chips for a grain-free, nut-free, dairy-free snack bar and they were so tempting! 

I slipped again last night, in which I am paying dearly for and completely regret. I drank beer. 4 of them. It was a huge mistake. I feel like shit today. I also had a bite of a pita at 3 in the morning.

Phew! I feel better now that I got that out.

As for my 90 Days of Fitness, I'm doing pretty well. I worked out Monday-Friday but didn't yesterday. While my head is killing me and all I want to do is sleep, I think I will force myself to at least walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Some exercise is better then none, right?!

This will be the last week of our 30 day challenge. I'm actually surprised how easy that was. I think Jake and I are going to make it a staple in our lives. I enjoy eating this way. I do miss carbs, especially pizza. And cheese. But I think that I've been feeling good as a result of this. I honestly don't know if I will lose a ton of weight like I dream of. But I think it will help me feel better on the inside and that will reflect on my outside.

Mid-Week Stretching.

Oh boy! It's half way through the March break and I'm trying to decide if I've made good use of my time. But according to my white board, I've accomplished a good amount of things.

Paleo apple pie...up soon!

I started 90 Days of Fitness on Monday. I have 100 days until EDC 2013 and my goal it to be comfortable in a swim suit and shorts. I originally gave myself 100 days, none stop but Jake pointed out that sometimes there will be forces outside my control in which I cannot go to the gym. Thus, I gave myself a collective 10 days off. 

We're going on day three and I am the most sore person on the planet. I feel like I'm 90 half the time. But I have high hopes! I think this combined with paleo will be really good for me. I've been feeling good, other then the sore muscles.

But all I've seemed to do this week is cook, go to the gym and blog. In all honesty, however, I've been really enjoying myself. Tomorrow I think I'm going to take some of my older items to a local consignment store for either cash or trade. It's time to let go of my old clothes and look for something better.

So far, it's been a pretty enjoyable week!

Check out my recipe page, From My Kitchen, With Love, for some cool paleo recipes (trying ginger lime shrimp tonight, it'll go up tomorrow if it's any good!) and I also have a new book page where I list the 50 books I want to read this year. I'm open to suggestions! 

Daily-O Paleo: Week 2 Round Up

Wow, I had to take a second to remember what week of paleo I was on! I take this as a good sign, I think it means that I'm adjusting well. It feels like we've been doing this forever!

I'm going to be honest, I didn't write down every single thing I ate this week. I started to, but then it seems I forgot and stopped at Tuesday. Oh well. I did, however, start a new blog (if you haven't heard yet) and attached it to this one. I wanted a place for just recipes. So I made one! Check out From My Kitchen, With Love. If you don't you're really lame.

Sweet potato hash, 2 eggs,
bacon crumbles and avo. Yum.

Anyway, I've been enjoying paleo so far. Week one was rough adjusting to not having everything I wanted. But now I'm feeling better. I've been sleeping really well, no waking up in the night or having problems falling asleep. I do find that because I'm eating a full breakfast, usually eggs, a veggies and a meat, that I'm not so hungry throughout the day. I snack a little, mostly because I  love dried fruit but I need to knock that right off.

Bora Bora, you are delicious. 

I'm starting at the gym today. I have the whole week off so I plan on spending that time working out, catching up on my correspondence with family and reading a lot about how to manage my time with paleo. I want to develop a system so that I'm not cooking all the friggin time!

Oh, I just remembered one of my other favorite dishes that we had last week! We had spaghetti squash with meat sauce. It was just like eating pasta but more interactive and fun. I loved roasting the squash then shredding it. It was really cool. Watery, yes, but delicious. We're going to have it again this week.

I have noticed with this past week that I wonder why not everyone lives like this. It's really easy and eliminates a lot of foods that aren't super good for you. I think, if I feel like it, I may incorporate beans back into my diet when the initial 30 days is up but at the same time, I want to see how long I can keep this up. 

I do think traveling will be difficult. Like when we go to Vegas in June, how easy will it be to have access to eggs and avocados every day. Plus, I plan on being hung over most of the time! Hey, at least I'm being honest.

Here's to the beginning of week three!

Weekend Sunshine.

Oh it's the weekend again!

It has been a really nice weekend, actually. Yesterday, I worked at the studio for the last day before March break. I was feeling pretty chipper!

After work, Jake and I went to Costco to do our weekly paleo haul. It was a bit expensive but we got enough to tie us over for at least two weeks. My favorite part? We got more tupperware. I needed containers bad! Then when we came home, we totally readjusted the fridge, cleaned it out completely and prepped some veggies and meats. 

I sauteed the squash in rosemary!

For dinner, I made spaghetti squash with meat sauce. Spaghetti squash is my new favorite. It's really cool how it shreds and stays al dente. I don't think I've ever had squash that wasn't mushy. We will absolutely be doing that again! 

Jake and I split up for the evening, he went out with his friends and I went with my friend Meghan to a latin club. It was really fun! Great music AND a drag show! Great evening!

Today has been a lazy day. Got up late, made coconut flour pancakes with sunflower seed butter on top with bacon. It was delicious!

How was your weekend?

Oh, check out my recipe page, I put up a great recipe for Bora Bora Fireballs (spicy pork meatballs covered in shredded coconut). You'll want to try this one out! Super simple and great for lunch, dinner or a snack!

Lastly, I have these tubes:

But I don't know what to do with them. I got a suggestion to make a headband holder, which is genius  but I want someone else too. I was thinking candle holders or some sort. I don't know what to do, Help!

A New Addition.

Happy Thursday everyone!

 

I've had an exciting development today. I have started another blog! Luckily, I have (cunningly) attached it to this blog. Please welcome...

 

 

I am so excited to have somewhere that I keep just my recipes!

 

Please go take a look, let me know if you like the layout! Check out the "My Kitchen" tab to learn why I started the new page.

 

To nagivate back here, just follow the link!

 

I'm so excited for this new development! I think it will help me take this Paleo life style by storm!

New Do.

I feel a blog change-up coming on. I want to revamp my look on here but I don't know what to do.

 

I think I'm slowly getting my blog groove back. I feel more urges to share things, which I haven't felt in a long, long time. I think because I'm involving myself in more things (reading more, taking online courses, doing more with people, enjoying work, etc) that I think I have more to share.

 

TED talks and coffee

I'm thinking about adding a few pages onto here, maybe a reading list and a recipe book, where I post my favorite recipes from this paleo life style change. I'd love to post some creative pieces but I have none at the moment. I need to do some creative writing.

 

Next week, I have the whole week off due to March Break. I think some creative summoning is in order. I'd love to get up early, go for a nice walk in the sunshine (crisp sunshine) then make some coffee and read or do some writing. I think I'll make sure at least one day I'll do that.

 

Do you have any suggestions for a new blog look?

Free Work.

It all started when I began moving. I thought, 'oh this is a great opportunity to intern at a few places, get a feel for some career fields and see where I wan to settle.' I had this image for the next few years of my life but let me tell you, that image has yet to really come true.

Intern:

       a. A student or a recent graduate undergoing supervised practical training.

Now if only it were that easy. 

When I went into college, I was under the impression that once college was done, I would intern somewhere and that would either lead to a job or help me nail down another job. Little did I know, the modern day "intern" is just an excuse for employers to lock out entry level workers while getting some free labour. 

Am I the only one who thinks this is down right shitty?

I have interned at three different places, each for about 3-4 months each time. None led to a real job (granted, I did get a freelance small gig from my most recent internship at Post City magazine that I al totally thankful for). I keep telling myself that the harder I work, the more internships I work, the more experience I tuck under my belt, the easier it would be to get a job. I keep telling myself 'this is normal.'

But my question is: why is it normal? Why is this okay? 

Internships are logical. It's actually a great way to work and get experience. I know a lot more after my three internships then I knew before. And, in all reality, I'm looking for more internships. But what are we really gaining? It doesn't stimulate the economy, it's not helping freshly graduated students or young adults, it's not helping young people be successful (not always but I'm sure there are cases). For the employer, it's probably great. Free work from someone you don't truly have to be nice to or respect and who is absolutely without a doubt replaceable and this work can continue on for as long as there are universities and people.

I've been reading a lot of articles from all over the country about interns, internships and people who are fed up with not getting paid. I want to join that bandwagon. While I love my current job for the people, let's be honest. I'm not earning as much money as I could be. I'm not using any of my real talents, I'm just being me (professional, respectful, efficient and just damn good at my job). I would love a job where I feel I'm using my college degree or my brain. I would love a job that is challenging and pays me for my talents. 

I feel like it's mostly career fields that fall into a creative career: writing, art or fashion. But I could be wrong. Have you worked internships that led to nothing? Or have you worked internships that led to a great opportunity?

I hope to get there someday.  

Daily-o Paleo: Week One Round Up

Last week, I started on a voyage into the Paleo world. While it already feels like I've been doing this for a while, it's only been a week. I've already faced a few challenges but have maneuvered through them and come out the other side a little bit stronger. Here is a recap of my week:

Day One (Tuesday): 

Breakfast: Frittata (bell peppers, onions, garlic, mushrooms, bacon) with avocado slices

Lunch: Shredded herb chicken (home roasted) and balsamic mushroom lettuce wraps (with tomato, cucumber and carrot)

Snack: Turkey rolls ups (deli turkey rolled up with assorted fillings, like apple and red cabbage, cucumber and carrot, etc)

Dinner: Spicy Stuffed Bell Peppers

Day 2: Mexican Stew.

Day Two (Wednesday):

Breakfast: 2 eggs sunny side up, 2 rashers of bacon, half an avocado and homemade Pico de Gallo (which was fantastic)

Lunch: Tuna (celery, pickles, dill, homemade mayo, salt and pepper) mixed with tomatos in an avocado

Snack: Almond butter and celery with raisins and coconut chips

Dinner: Mexican Slow Cooked Stew

Day Three (Thursday):

Day 3: Lunch.

Breakfast: Eggs and bacon baked into a tomato 

Lunch: Asian Fusion salon on bok choy with cauliflower rice

Snack: Trail mix (almonds, cashews, coconut chips, raisins)

Dinner: N/A 

Day Four (Friday):

Breakfast: Zucchini hash, bacon and eggs

Lunch: Shrimp Slaw (shrimp, red cabbage, hard boiled egg, cucumber, tomato mixed in a lemon dill and garlic dressing)

Snack: Beef Jerky and trail mix

Dinner: Double chicken shawarma on lettuce with tomatos, olives and cucumbers

Day Five (Saturday):

Breakfast: Coffee and a pear 

Lunch: Left over shrimp slaw

Snack: Trail mix

Dinner: Korean BBQ (Bulgogi)  

Day Six (Sunday):

Breakfast: Sausage, 2 eggs and avocado slices with Pico de Gallo

Lunch: N/A

Snack: Trail Mix

Dinner: Chinese 5 spice roasted chicken breasts, Waldorf salad and spicy yam spears

Today makes day 7. 

If I'm honest, I've been enjoying myself. I only had one little challenge. On Friday (Day 4) I had to go out to eat with my coworkers and that was difficult. We went (originally) to an English pub, which if you knew me, is my favorite kind of food. I grew up with that shit. It was really hard. But, long story short, we didn't have enough time to eat there so we got shawarma from a small pita place. That was easier for me.

On Day 5, Jake and I decided to go out to eat. Originally, we wanted to go to this smoke house in the Roncy but there was a hour and a half wait. No, thanks. So we were hungry, it was late and I was getting cranky. We ended up at this packed Korean BBQ place and had such a fantastic meal. We had all those side salad-y things, pickled this and that. The we ordered Bulbogi and Korean ribs or something. They brought out large lettuce leaves and a small BBQ that we cooked our meat on the table. It was great! Absolutely going there again. 

What were my favorite foods eaten this past week?

For sure breakfast. I can totally get behind any meal that centers around bacon. Especially when you buy bacon (and all your other meat) from Sanagan's Meat Locker in Kensington Market. Even though it's expensive-ish, it's worth it if meat is what your life is revolving around.

Other then breakfast (if you like Pico de Gallo, I'll totally send you this recipe I have, it's so good), I loved the Asian Salmon over bok choy with cauliflower rice, which is totally my new favorite. 

The food in general was great...I mean obviously, I made it all (with help from Jacob)! 

What is my one complaint for the past week?

I actually have two. The first is the amount of cooking and cleaning I seem to do every single day. I'm working on a system of what I can do to reduce the amount of time spent in the kitchen each morning.

The second complaint is that my stomach hasn't quite settled with this new diet. Someday's it's fine, other days it really hurts. I know it'll go away with time but...seriously...hurry up, bro.

In summary, that is my first week with the Paleo lifestyle. I'm excited to see what the future holds and to experiment with my food. It's been fun so far, finding replacements for my old favorite foods. Obviously, nothing will replace ice cream or a bagel but I'm hoping this new recipe I found for coconut whipped cream will put a little smile on my berries later...I'l share that next week!

PS: If there is any recipe you are interested in, e-mail me (hammondwf@gmail.com) and I'll send it to you!

Something to Miss.

Oh, Annex.

Last night was the Competitive Showcase for the studio where I work. I started there in September and soon realized just how awesome all these people are. From the students and their families to the teachers and faculty. It's weird to think, but I found a little home away from home. 

As I sit here getting ready to head back into the studio for Saturday classes, I kind of just got sad. I have a little over 4 months left here in Toronto and, after watching all the girls I've gotten accustomed to seeing every day and spending some quality time with the teachers (who I now consider my friends), I realize that I finally feel like I belong somewhere. That's a feel you don't get often when you move every year.

It's not a feeling that I can describe very well. It's like seeing a person you missed very much for the first time in a long time. It's like a relief. It's like sitting down after a really long day. It just feels so nice, that relief, that seeing someone you miss, that finally having people who you feel you belong with. I am very grateful that I have something from this year that I will remember forever and will always have with me. 

Company members getting ready for a half time show.

When I started on this journey, after a rough year in Connecticut, I was afraid that the rest would be the same. That I wouldn't feel like I belonged anywhere other then Oregon. That I wouldn't meet people who liked me or understood me or accepted me like my friends and family in Oregon. I think I was more afraid that I would come away from all of this without any really good connections or memories. But now I have something good to move on with. 

I just hope that in a year, 5 years, maybe 10, that these people who have touched my life, can look back and remember me too. 

I'll miss Toronto, that's for sure.