Thursday, May 31, 2012

Cause you're a Firework.



Summer is fast approaching and with it comes personally, the most stressful season of all:
Swim Suit season.

Does anyone else have anxiety about letting the world see you basically naked in a tiny swim suit??

I've been battling a lot lately with my body and how I see myself.
My darling boyfriend is always telling me that he thinks I'm beautiful 
(good man :) )
But sometimes, I just want to look in the mirror and like what I see.
I've been focusing a lot on trying to find the things I like about myself and focusing on those, while trying to improve the things I don't like about myself.
Wanna know the hardest part??

Staying positive.

I've been going a lot of stress with battling to move to Toronto, 
panicking over a lost passport,
applying for a new one,
hunting for a job but constantly getting rejected because 
I don't have a work visa
(whic you can't seem to obtain with a job...hmm...)
trying to enjoy my last few weeks here and enjoying the sunshine.

With the sun coming out and my skin itching for some Vitamin D,
I want to go play in the water and lay around.
But my anxiety about how I look is def taking over.

I'm trying to stay positive.
I'm trying to keep pushing.
But most of the time, I just want to cry and devour 12 chocolate cupcakes.

Does anyone else feel these things??
Am I alone on the issue??

I see girls with so much confidence and I want that so badly.

When will I finally accept myself for who I am??
Will I ever stop trying to be something else??
Should I strive to be something that I view as better then what I am??

Loaded questions I know but it's been on my mind lately.