Monday, September 24, 2012

The Subway Dairies: Remember.

Most people look tired today. They pile on and disturb my silence in their business suits, school uniforms and t shirts. Nothing strikes me as interesting and I already have a headache. 

It's hot on this car today. Almost too hot Worse then muggy and it probably doesn't help that it's lovely and crisp outside. My hair is still wet and has become stiff in the morning air. Somewhere behind me I hear music, too loud for the train really.

I wonder if people ever wondering what I'm writing about. I sit here, usually huddled against the window, feverishly scribbling my thoughts while occasionally looking around me. They probably make up stories about me, too. 

Sometime soon I want to ride the subway from one end to the other, or at least for a couple hours. I bet I would see a lot of interesting people.

I realize tomorrow is September 11th. A part of me gets sad that I'm not in my home country for this fateful day of remembrance. I feel a sort of pride on this day. After all, it's the first real historical event I was alive for. It's be a huge part of my life for a good long time. When will the negativity and aggression subside? Ever?

I've been having a rough time lately. Not seeing my family and friends is hard. I miss being somewhere familiar. But, thinking of it now, when will I switch my brain over? When will I become aware that once I got on that plane on August 15th last summer, I changed my life forever? I feel like it's time to let it go. It's time to just remember and try not to relive.

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